Author: Becca Schmitz

Pregnancy · Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries

Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries: The Nursery

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It’s been a little while since I published a post on here, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had plenty of thoughts as we’ve traveled the sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy road of pregnancy after loss.  Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I had a lot to say about this journey – but not really enough on any one subject to create a blog post.  She suggested that I publish a miniseries, so that’s what I’m going to do.  Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting shorter (but more frequent) blog posts on a variety of pregnancy after loss topics.  

One thing I didn’t get to do with Brady was put together a nursery.  This time, I’m going to get it done before the little guy arrives.

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Pregnancy · Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries

Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries: Baby Showers

Becca SchmitzLeave a comment

It’s been a little while since I published a post on here, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had plenty of thoughts as we’ve traveled the sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy road of pregnancy after loss.  Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I had a lot to say about this journey – but not really enough on any one subject to create a blog post.  She suggested that I publish a miniseries, so that’s what I’m going to do.  Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting shorter (but more frequent) blog posts on a variety of pregnancy after loss topics.  

I’ve already shared how triggering other people’s baby showers were soon after Brady passed away (here if you want a refresher or didn’t catch it the first time around), but now that I’m pregnant again, another variation has come up.  My own baby shower.

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Pregnancy · Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries

Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries: Viability

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It’s been a little while since I published a post on here, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had plenty of thoughts as we’ve traveled the sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy road of pregnancy after loss.  Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I had a lot to say about this journey – but not really enough on any one subject to create a blog post.  She suggested that I publish a miniseries, so that’s what I’m going to do.  Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting shorter (but more frequent) blog posts on a variety of pregnancy after loss topics.  First up, viability:

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Pregnancy

The Anatomy Scan

Becca Schmitz4 Comments

The anatomy scan has been one of the largest sources of anxiety for me this pregnancy.  As I’ve mentioned before, to most people this is just the “gender ultrasound”, but there was a lot more hinging on this ultrasound than just that for us.   There’s a lot of important measurements taken, and for us, this was our first glimpse at whether this baby was growth-restricted or not (at least at this point).

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Pregnancy

18 Weeks and a HELLP Scare

Becca Schmitz4 Comments

Over the past week, I’ve been dealing with some upper right quadrant pain.  If you’ve had preeclampsia or HELLP syndrome, you know that upper right quadrant pain is a hallmark of the disease.  If you have preeclampsia, you’re constantly being asked about your upper right quadrant, as that will often indicate an escalation to HELLP.  I made another call to the nurse line, and since I was at a stage where HELLP would’ve been really rare, they suggested alternatives – watching my fat intake (if it was my gallbladder) and trying Zantac (if it was indigestion).  The Zantac did help some other symptoms I’d been having, but the upper right quadrant pain wouldn’t go away.  I called back today, and, due to my medical history, they were able to get me in to the doctor within the hour.  I am so grateful for a care team that takes my concerns seriously.

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Pregnancy

A Call Log After Loss

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Pregnancy after loss is a trip.  If you haven’t been there, you probably don’t get the mental acrobatics that I go through on a daily basis.  Today, I’m offering a glimpse into this mental state via a list of reasons I’ve called the nurse line, on-call OB, or sent a medical message during my first 16 weeks of pregnancy.

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Life After Loss · Pregnancy

14 Week Review

Becca Schmitz3 Comments

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, or follow me on Instagram, you already know that we’re expecting baby #2 this fall.  I’ve been pretty quiet about it, and it feels good to now be at a point where I’m comfortable enough to talk about it.  Emphasis on enough.  As of yesterday, we crossed the 14 week mark, and I want to catch you all up on these first few weeks.  I know the blog post title is a bit inaccurate.  It’s really a review of our first 11 weeks, since we found out we were expecting at 3+1.  Yeah, I know, that’s early, but if you know me at all, you know I am that kind of person.

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Life After Loss

Worrying Does Nothing

Becca Schmitz4 Comments

Growing up, as a young adult, and as a not-so-young adult, I worried.  Conscious or not, I was constantly thinking about, or preparing for, the worst case scenario.  Worrying and planning has its place, like if you’re ever stranded on a desert island and your very continued existence depends on it.  Otherwise, worrying really doesn’t do much, except maybe ruin an otherwise fun life.  Let me explain.

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Life After Loss

Option B: A Grief Book Review

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Option B has sat on my nightstand for 6 months.  It’s been my “next to read” book for approximately that same amount of time.  I’m just not a huge reader anymore, but I’m really trying to be better about that.  Reading more will (at the very least) make me feel a bit better about my out-of-control TV habit.

I wanted to read Option B to expand my understanding of my grief experience.  While the author lost her husband, not a child, I heard that it was still really relatable from one of my loss mom friends.  What I learned while reading it is that anyone could benefit from reading this book, even if you’re not in the throes of complex grief yourself.  In fact, I’d actually especially recommend it if you aren’t.  My experience has been that a lot of people absolutely do not know how to interact with someone who is experiencing complex grief, and this book is a perfect little toolkit to help folks understand what’s happening and what they should do.

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Life After Loss

5 Things I’ve Learned

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I’ve spent a year in the trenches as a loss mom.  In that year, I’ve learned a lot about how to navigate this difficult course, as I’ve had successful (and not so successful) interactions with others.  I started this list a while ago, and slowly added on to it throughout the year.  Some of them are for loss parents, some are for the general public that interacts with loss parents, and some are for both.

Anyway, here’s my collection of 5 things I’ve learned in my first year as a loss mom:

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