January is here and I am now fully engulfed in what I am unofficially calling “the month of Brady”. Brady was born and died last January, so there are a lot of contrasting emotions wrapped up into this one month. January 2017 was both the happiest and saddest month of my life. I went into the new year last year oblivious to what was about to happen. The only thing significant about January was supposed to be our move to our new house. You all know how that went (and if you don’t, check this and this out).
It’s been a hectic couple of weeks, and Christmas has come and gone. It was actually not as bad as I thought it would be. It seems the anticipation of how bad it was going to be might have surpassed how bad it actually was. At least I didn’t get myself as worked up about Christmas as I did about Thanksgiving. That’s not saying it didn’t suck, knowing that we should be celebrating in a totally different way with an adorable little man. I’ve tried consciously to fixate less on the “shoulds” and instead focus on our reality. That helped me get through those couple tough days.
It’s hard to believe that we should have a 6 month old at home. Not a day goes by that I don’t imagine what Brady would be like, and what milestones he would be hitting. I googled “3 month milestones” (with Brady being a micro-preemie, his adjusted age would be 3 months) and laughed when I saw that one of them was “supports upper body with arms while lying on stomach”. Our 4 day old micro-preemie did that… well, for at least a couple of seconds. Those other babies must be some serious slackers. (You can read that story here if you missed it) Maybe adjusted age wouldn’t have been much of a factor with our little badass. That’s just one of the many “maybes” that I’ll never be able to answer.