Tag: life after loss

Pregnancy · Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries

Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries: Viability

Becca SchmitzLeave a comment

It’s been a little while since I published a post on here, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had plenty of thoughts as we’ve traveled the sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy road of pregnancy after loss.  Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I had a lot to say about this journey – but not really enough on any one subject to create a blog post.  She suggested that I publish a miniseries, so that’s what I’m going to do.  Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting shorter (but more frequent) blog posts on a variety of pregnancy after loss topics.  First up, viability:

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Pregnancy

The Anatomy Scan

Becca Schmitz4 Comments

The anatomy scan has been one of the largest sources of anxiety for me this pregnancy.  As I’ve mentioned before, to most people this is just the “gender ultrasound”, but there was a lot more hinging on this ultrasound than just that for us.   There’s a lot of important measurements taken, and for us, this was our first glimpse at whether this baby was growth-restricted or not (at least at this point).

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Pregnancy

A Call Log After Loss

Becca SchmitzLeave a comment

Pregnancy after loss is a trip.  If you haven’t been there, you probably don’t get the mental acrobatics that I go through on a daily basis.  Today, I’m offering a glimpse into this mental state via a list of reasons I’ve called the nurse line, on-call OB, or sent a medical message during my first 16 weeks of pregnancy.

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Life After Loss · Pregnancy

14 Week Review

Becca Schmitz3 Comments

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, or follow me on Instagram, you already know that we’re expecting baby #2 this fall.  I’ve been pretty quiet about it, and it feels good to now be at a point where I’m comfortable enough to talk about it.  Emphasis on enough.  As of yesterday, we crossed the 14 week mark, and I want to catch you all up on these first few weeks.  I know the blog post title is a bit inaccurate.  It’s really a review of our first 11 weeks, since we found out we were expecting at 3+1.  Yeah, I know, that’s early, but if you know me at all, you know I am that kind of person.

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Life After Loss

Worrying Does Nothing

Becca Schmitz4 Comments

Growing up, as a young adult, and as a not-so-young adult, I worried.  Conscious or not, I was constantly thinking about, or preparing for, the worst case scenario.  Worrying and planning has its place, like if you’re ever stranded on a desert island and your very continued existence depends on it.  Otherwise, worrying really doesn’t do much, except maybe ruin an otherwise fun life.  Let me explain.

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Life After Loss

Option B: A Grief Book Review

Becca SchmitzLeave a comment

Option B has sat on my nightstand for 6 months.  It’s been my “next to read” book for approximately that same amount of time.  I’m just not a huge reader anymore, but I’m really trying to be better about that.  Reading more will (at the very least) make me feel a bit better about my out-of-control TV habit.

I wanted to read Option B to expand my understanding of my grief experience.  While the author lost her husband, not a child, I heard that it was still really relatable from one of my loss mom friends.  What I learned while reading it is that anyone could benefit from reading this book, even if you’re not in the throes of complex grief yourself.  In fact, I’d actually especially recommend it if you aren’t.  My experience has been that a lot of people absolutely do not know how to interact with someone who is experiencing complex grief, and this book is a perfect little toolkit to help folks understand what’s happening and what they should do.

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Life After Loss

5 Things I’ve Learned

Becca SchmitzLeave a comment

I’ve spent a year in the trenches as a loss mom.  In that year, I’ve learned a lot about how to navigate this difficult course, as I’ve had successful (and not so successful) interactions with others.  I started this list a while ago, and slowly added on to it throughout the year.  Some of them are for loss parents, some are for the general public that interacts with loss parents, and some are for both.

Anyway, here’s my collection of 5 things I’ve learned in my first year as a loss mom:

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Brady John · Life After Loss

365 Days

Becca SchmitzLeave a comment

It’s been a whole 365 days since Brady was here.

A year passed, and we made it through all the firsts.  In some ways, it feels like a new chapter opened today.  I no longer have to anticipate the unknown of any holiday or anniversary.  I’ve been through one of them already.  I learned that sometimes the anticipation of the date or holiday was worse than the actual day.  Of course, there were plenty of days that were unexpectedly hard too.  Moving into the second year, I know it doesn’t mean that I’ll react the same with each holiday or anniversary as I did with the first one.  There is some relief in knowing that I made it through this one horrible year.  And if I can make it through that, I can make it through anything.

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Brady John · Life After Loss

Happy 1st Birthday, Brady John!

Becca Schmitz6 Comments

Up until the morning of Sunday, January 14th, I had every intention of celebrating Brady’s first birthday that day.  Though he was born on the 15th, I figured that had he lived to see his first birthday, Sunday would’ve been the day we had people over to celebrate.  I doubt we would have had great turnout for a party on a Monday night.  However, when we woke up that day, we decided we’d rather visit and celebrate on his actual birthday.

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Brady John · Life After Loss

The Month of Brady

Becca Schmitz3 Comments

January is here and I am now fully engulfed in what I am unofficially calling “the month of Brady”.  Brady was born and died last January, so there are a lot of contrasting emotions wrapped up into this one month.  January 2017 was both the happiest and saddest month of my life.  I went into the new year last year oblivious to what was about to happen.  The only thing significant about January was supposed to be our move to our new house.  You all know how that went (and if you don’t, check this and this out).

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