Brady John · Life After Loss · Pregnancy

Three

I thought it had been a while since I wrote the last time I wrote, but now, it’s been much, much longer. Connor was a just little at the time (5 months?) and I thought that life would get less busy when Connor was a bit older. I was wrong. Just like grief is always there, the busyness of having a living child is always there, both just change over time.

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Brady John · Life After Loss

A Reflection on the Month of Brady

It’s been a while, again, since I wrote – and as I write this, we’ve officially made it through our second month of Brady.  January is all about Brady John.  It’s the month he was born and the month he passed away.  The latter being a date that we don’t like to acknowledge.  I’ll share more on that later.

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Pregnancy

The End is Near

This week marks 36 weeks.  10 more weeks than Brady got on the inside.  By the way this not-so-little guy jabs at me and stretches, I get the impression that he’s not pleased with his lodging arrangements.  He doesn’t know how lucky he is!  One of my favorite things is when Jeff keeps telling him that we’re “coming to get him” in a week.  I think we’ll both be relieved to have our own space in the very near future!

While being pregnant isn’t physically all that fun in general, it’s gotten much worse in the past week or so.  I’m achy, puffy, and exhausted, and super, super grateful to still be pregnant.  I finally decided to give up working out after I landed myself in triage last weekend with high blood pressure readings and extreme swelling.  I’m glad I’ve been able to stay active for most of this pregnancy, but my poor swollen feet can’t handle it anymore.  Thankfully, my labs all looked good at the hospital and I was able to get released within a few hours.  Our goal is finally within sight, so we continue to cross our fingers that we’ll make it to our scheduled date next week.

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Pregnancy

The Elusive Third Trimester

28 weeks means another milestone – we’ve made it to the third trimester!  Since Brady was born in the second trimester, this (like everything else moving forward) is uncharted territory.  I know a lot of women complain about the third trimester, but I couldn’t be more excited to finally be here.  It feels like we are finally in the home stretch.

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Pregnancy · Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries

Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries: Goals and Plans

It’s been a little while since I published a post on here, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had plenty of thoughts as we’ve traveled the sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy road of pregnancy after loss.  Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I had a lot to say about this journey – but not really enough on any one subject to create a blog post.  She suggested that I publish a miniseries, so that’s what I’m going to do.  Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting shorter (but more frequent) blog posts on a variety of pregnancy after loss topics.  

A lot of women make really elaborate plans for the birth of their babies.  I’m not judging this.  Had we had an ideal first pregnancy, I probably would have had some pretty solid ideas for how I wanted things to go too.

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Pregnancy · Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries

Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries: The Nursery

It’s been a little while since I published a post on here, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had plenty of thoughts as we’ve traveled the sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy road of pregnancy after loss.  Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I had a lot to say about this journey – but not really enough on any one subject to create a blog post.  She suggested that I publish a miniseries, so that’s what I’m going to do.  Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting shorter (but more frequent) blog posts on a variety of pregnancy after loss topics.  

One thing I didn’t get to do with Brady was put together a nursery.  This time, I’m going to get it done before the little guy arrives.

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Pregnancy · Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries

Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries: Viability

It’s been a little while since I published a post on here, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had plenty of thoughts as we’ve traveled the sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy road of pregnancy after loss.  Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I had a lot to say about this journey – but not really enough on any one subject to create a blog post.  She suggested that I publish a miniseries, so that’s what I’m going to do.  Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting shorter (but more frequent) blog posts on a variety of pregnancy after loss topics.  First up, viability:

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Pregnancy

The Anatomy Scan

The anatomy scan has been one of the largest sources of anxiety for me this pregnancy.  As I’ve mentioned before, to most people this is just the “gender ultrasound”, but there was a lot more hinging on this ultrasound than just that for us.   There’s a lot of important measurements taken, and for us, this was our first glimpse at whether this baby was growth-restricted or not (at least at this point).

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Pregnancy

A Call Log After Loss

Pregnancy after loss is a trip.  If you haven’t been there, you probably don’t get the mental acrobatics that I go through on a daily basis.  Today, I’m offering a glimpse into this mental state via a list of reasons I’ve called the nurse line, on-call OB, or sent a medical message during my first 16 weeks of pregnancy.

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Life After Loss

Worrying Does Nothing

Growing up, as a young adult, and as a not-so-young adult, I worried.  Conscious or not, I was constantly thinking about, or preparing for, the worst case scenario.  Worrying and planning has its place, like if you’re ever stranded on a desert island and your very continued existence depends on it.  Otherwise, worrying really doesn’t do much, except maybe ruin an otherwise fun life.  Let me explain.

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