It’s been a while, again, since I wrote – and as I write this, we’ve officially made it through our second month of Brady. January is all about Brady John. It’s the month he was born and the month he passed away. The latter being a date that we don’t like to acknowledge. I’ll share more on that later.
Tag: mental health
NSTs, BPPs, and Other Acronyms
There’s been a lot going on in the Schmitz household, as we prepare for the arrival of baby #2. Along with all the physical preparations we’re making (massive Amazon registry orders, freezer meals, and the like) I also realized this week that I reached THE point. I’ve treated this pregnancy as a series of mini goals – getting a clean anatomy scan at 19 weeks, making it to viability at 23 weeks, making it past the point when Brady was born at 26+5, making it to the third trimester, and finally, 32 weeks.
32 weeks is the point where we can deliver at our local hospital and not have to go to Abbott. It’s the point where if the baby arrived now, he most likely wouldn’t need the NICU and would instead just need a little time in the SCN (Special Care Nursery). The last remaining goal is September 18th, so I feel like I can finally relax, and maybe even enjoy the last 4 weeks and 6 days of being pregnant.
A Call Log After Loss
Pregnancy after loss is a trip. If you haven’t been there, you probably don’t get the mental acrobatics that I go through on a daily basis. Today, I’m offering a glimpse into this mental state via a list of reasons I’ve called the nurse line, on-call OB, or sent a medical message during my first 16 weeks of pregnancy.
Worrying Does Nothing
Growing up, as a young adult, and as a not-so-young adult, I worried. Conscious or not, I was constantly thinking about, or preparing for, the worst case scenario. Worrying and planning has its place, like if you’re ever stranded on a desert island and your very continued existence depends on it. Otherwise, worrying really doesn’t do much, except maybe ruin an otherwise fun life. Let me explain.
The Newest Member of the Ambivert Club
I used to be fairly extroverted. Social interactions never caused me much anxiety, and I looked forward to meeting new people, learning about others, and just conversing. Since losing Brady, that all has changed. I had never experienced social anxiety, and now I do.
My therapist has suggested that I might be more of an ambivert now – not an introvert or an extrovert, but an individual with a balance of both features. I certainly don’t always want to withdraw, but I don’t want to be around people all the time, either.
Why I’m Giving Myself Grace in my Fitness Journey
It’s been over 5 months and I’m still up 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, and 20 pounds up from my wedding weight. (Holla for gaining a whopping 10 pounds on our honeymoon!) I always thought I would be the one that was back to her pre-baby body no more than 3 months postpartum. In all honesty, I used to judge women who “let themselves go” after having a baby. Didn’t they care about their health? My experiences over the past few months have given me a new understanding of life, and my ability to judge so freely is now almost nonexistent. My experience has shown me what motherhood truly is. I think the root is that we all desire to do right by our children, and we can do that in a huge variety of ways. What works best for one, might not work for another, and that’s okay.
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