Our life, our loss, and honoring our sweet little man
Carter is already 2 months old, so it’s probably about time that I told you about his arrival and first days, eh? They were eventful.
Carter came into the world the same way his two older brothers did – via c-section. There were no other options. Like with Connor, we made it to our scheduled date of 37 weeks 1 day, which still amazes me, after how early Brady John was delivered.
Continue reading “Carter James”I thought it had been a while since I wrote the last time I wrote, but now, it’s been much, much longer. Connor was a just little at the time (5 months?) and I thought that life would get less busy when Connor was a bit older. I was wrong. Just like grief is always there, the busyness of having a living child is always there, both just change over time.
Continue reading “Three”It’s been a while, again, since I wrote – and as I write this, we’ve officially made it through our second month of Brady. January is all about Brady John. It’s the month he was born and the month he passed away. The latter being a date that we don’t like to acknowledge. I’ll share more on that later.
It’s been 11 weeks, and I’m just now getting around to writing out a blog post about our newest addition – Brady John’s younger brother, Connor Brady! I’ve meant to write this post for a long time, but it turns out life with a newborn at home is kind of hectic. I wish I would’ve written it down sooner, since I know I am already forgetting some details, but here is my best shot at it:
We made it to our date – 9/18/18, which is a pretty cool birth date. I was scheduled for 9 AM, so Jeff and I showed up at 7. We got all the way to the point of Jeff changing into his sexy surgical suit before they informed us that we got bumped for an emergency c-section.
This week marks 36 weeks. 10 more weeks than Brady got on the inside. By the way this not-so-little guy jabs at me and stretches, I get the impression that he’s not pleased with his lodging arrangements. He doesn’t know how lucky he is! One of my favorite things is when Jeff keeps telling him that we’re “coming to get him” in a week. I think we’ll both be relieved to have our own space in the very near future!
While being pregnant isn’t physically all that fun in general, it’s gotten much worse in the past week or so. I’m achy, puffy, and exhausted, and super, super grateful to still be pregnant. I finally decided to give up working out after I landed myself in triage last weekend with high blood pressure readings and extreme swelling. I’m glad I’ve been able to stay active for most of this pregnancy, but my poor swollen feet can’t handle it anymore. Thankfully, my labs all looked good at the hospital and I was able to get released within a few hours. Our goal is finally within sight, so we continue to cross our fingers that we’ll make it to our scheduled date next week.
There’s been a lot going on in the Schmitz household, as we prepare for the arrival of baby #2. Along with all the physical preparations we’re making (massive Amazon registry orders, freezer meals, and the like) I also realized this week that I reached THE point. I’ve treated this pregnancy as a series of mini goals – getting a clean anatomy scan at 19 weeks, making it to viability at 23 weeks, making it past the point when Brady was born at 26+5, making it to the third trimester, and finally, 32 weeks.
32 weeks is the point where we can deliver at our local hospital and not have to go to Abbott. It’s the point where if the baby arrived now, he most likely wouldn’t need the NICU and would instead just need a little time in the SCN (Special Care Nursery). The last remaining goal is September 18th, so I feel like I can finally relax, and maybe even enjoy the last 4 weeks and 6 days of being pregnant.
28 weeks means another milestone – we’ve made it to the third trimester! Since Brady was born in the second trimester, this (like everything else moving forward) is uncharted territory. I know a lot of women complain about the third trimester, but I couldn’t be more excited to finally be here. It feels like we are finally in the home stretch.
It’s hard to believe (and I’m super grateful) that we’re partway through week 26. This is a week full of milestones. 26+2 was when I was hospitalized in my pregnancy with Brady. 26+5 was when he was born. I’m writing this at 26+4, which means that by Sunday, I’ll be the most pregnant I’ve ever been.
It seems fitting that we started off the week with a doctor’s appointment. No ultrasound this time (our next one is at 28 weeks), but it was still a significant appointment. We did a glucose test (to check for gestational diabetes), and since they were already doing a blood draw for that, we also did the third trimester Preeclampsia and HELLP labwork.
It’s been a little while since I published a post on here, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had plenty of thoughts as we’ve traveled the sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy road of pregnancy after loss. Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I had a lot to say about this journey – but not really enough on any one subject to create a blog post. She suggested that I publish a miniseries, so that’s what I’m going to do. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting shorter (but more frequent) blog posts on a variety of pregnancy after loss topics.
A lot of women make really elaborate plans for the birth of their babies. I’m not judging this. Had we had an ideal first pregnancy, I probably would have had some pretty solid ideas for how I wanted things to go too.
Continue reading “Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries: Goals and Plans”
Making it to 24 weeks means we made it to our next growth ultrasound. Compared to the level two ultrasound we had at 19 weeks, these growth ultrasounds are super quick. The take a couple measurements and you’re out the door. I think our tech actually spent more time working on the 3D ultrasound photos than she did on measurements, but more on that later.
Or, maybe it’s just that quick when things go according to plan. Since our pregnancy with Brady was so abnormal, I really have no gauge for how these things typically go. The consensus at the end of the ultrasound was that this little guy measured at 24+1 and was in the exact 50th percentile for his gestational age. A friend joked that this kid is on his best behavior after what we’ve been through and is trying to be as average as possible as to not cause any concern. He’s doing a good job.