Brady John

Brady’s Goodbye

I mentioned in my post on Brady’s last week of life (here) that on our last night with him, he had given us some reassurance before we left.  I call it his way of saying “goodbye” now, but if I would have known that at the time, I would never have left his side.  Brady reassured us.  He had this uncanny ability to settle his mama’s fears, and make me feel that everything would be okay.

Brady’s last day was so tough, between his infection and his lungs, he’d had a really rough day.  They typically would want his oxygenation up above 87%, but due to his “sticky lungs” (or Hyaline Membrane Disease, if you’re wanting to be technical) it was hard to keep his oxygenation at that level.  The nurses, doctors, and respiratory therapists did their best, but Brady hovered in the upper 70s for most of the day.

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Brady John

Brady John: Our Strong Little Man

I’m sure you can all tell by now that I think my son is seriously amazing.  This story is one of the things I go back to when I think of all the ways Brady seemed to defy everyone’s expectations from the very beginning.

I think Brady was only about 4 days old when this happened.  I only know that because of the time-stamped photos I have on my cell phone.  My record-keeping wasn’t the greatest for the first few days of Brady’s life.  For the first 3 days of life, Brady had to be positioned midline, so there wasn’t a lot of creativity in how he got to lay in his isolette.  It’s another precaution they take for babies born so prematurely, to prevent brain bleeds.  After the first 3 days, Brady got to try lots of new positions, including some tummy time.

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Brady John

Brady John: Mr. Particular

If there’s one way that Brady was not like his daddy, it was in his particularities.  Jeff is pretty chill about most things.  And I’m particular, so we can say that this is probably my contribution to our little man.  Sorry, little buddy.

Once again, I’m so grateful that we had the amazing nurses that we did.  They spent so much time with him, and always filled me in on the funny and particular things they noticed about Brady.  I remember coming in one morning for my normal visit, and getting a rundown immediately from Diane on Brady’s most recent likes and dislikes.

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Brady John

Brady John: Just Like Daddy

It’s amazing how a baby can show so much personality when they are only days old.  Not only did Brady show us his awesome little personality right away, he also showed us which parent he took after right away.  That’s right, his daddy.

I hear women complain all the time about how they carried their baby for XX amount of weeks, only to have their child turn out exactly like dad.  I felt the opposite.  I was THRILLED that Brady was just like Jeff.

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Brady John · Life After Loss

The March for Babies

On Saturday, April 29th, we got to walk in the March for Babies to support the March of Dimes.  My little sister, Christina, had text me a few weeks after Brady passed away, and asked if I would want to do the walk and raise money in honor of Brady this year.  I thought it was a wonderful idea, and a way that we could continue to honor Brady’s memory year after year.

Me and my sister

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Brady John · Life After Loss

The House That Brady Built

Many of you know that my husband and I bought a new house right before Brady was born.  Jeff and I hadn’t been looking for a new place at all until we found out we were pregnant.  It became abundantly clear that we needed to move when we started cleaning out the guest bedroom that would’ve been Brady’s room – there just wasn’t enough room for all our stuff.  We had a 2 bedroom townhouse, and it would’ve been busting at the seams.

Because we never would’ve moved if it wasn’t for Brady, I’ve started calling our new home “The House That Brady Built.”  It’s only recently that we have started actually trying to make our house our home, and I’m finding my inspiration through Brady.  The horrific burnt orange accent wall is now a soothing blue.  A collage of Brady photos adorns the upstairs hallway leading to our master bedroom and Brady’s nursery.  And, we have the most perfect cedar chest for Brady’s things.  More on that in a minute.  Just last night, I remarked to my husband that “Brady lives here.” – and I truly feel his presence in our home.

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Brady John · Life After Loss · Pregnancy

Preparing for the Future

With everything that happened with my pregnancy with Brady, we had a lot of questions about what future pregnancies would look like, and whether we would be willing to take on the risks associated with any future pregnancies.  We had always been hopeful we could find a way to reduce our risks and still be able to have children in the future.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to make more babies with this stud?

     

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Brady John

Brady John: Our Little Fighter

Brady’s second week of life is a bit harder to write about.  While his first week was full of ups, his second week was much more of a roller coaster.  Then, of course, there is the fact that Brady’s second week of life does not have a happy ending.

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Brady John

Brady John: Mr. Popular

This is the point in the story that I have to start looking back at journals to make sure I get all the details right.  I thought my life was crazy leading up to Brady’s arrival, but it pales in comparison to how hectic NICU life is.

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Brady John · Pregnancy

Brady John: Happy Birthday!

Sunday started out like any other day, well, besides being on day 4 of our hospitalization.  Due to my sassiness the night before, and my hesitation at staying longer in the hospital, Dr. Pates had requested that Dr. Wagner round with me first that morning.  Jeff had to leave early that morning to deal with our cable hookup at the new place (#priorities) so my mom had come by to hang out with me.

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