Brady John · Life After Loss

365 Days

It’s been a whole 365 days since Brady was here.

A year passed, and we made it through all the firsts.  In some ways, it feels like a new chapter opened today.  I no longer have to anticipate the unknown of any holiday or anniversary.  I’ve been through one of them already.  I learned that sometimes the anticipation of the date or holiday was worse than the actual day.  Of course, there were plenty of days that were unexpectedly hard too.  Moving into the second year, I know it doesn’t mean that I’ll react the same with each holiday or anniversary as I did with the first one.  There is some relief in knowing that I made it through this one horrible year.  And if I can make it through that, I can make it through anything.

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Brady John · Life After Loss

Happy 1st Birthday, Brady John!

Up until the morning of Sunday, January 14th, I had every intention of celebrating Brady’s first birthday that day.  Though he was born on the 15th, I figured that had he lived to see his first birthday, Sunday would’ve been the day we had people over to celebrate.  I doubt we would have had great turnout for a party on a Monday night.  However, when we woke up that day, we decided we’d rather visit and celebrate on his actual birthday.

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Brady John · Life After Loss

The Month of Brady

January is here and I am now fully engulfed in what I am unofficially calling “the month of Brady”.  Brady was born and died last January, so there are a lot of contrasting emotions wrapped up into this one month.  January 2017 was both the happiest and saddest month of my life.  I went into the new year last year oblivious to what was about to happen.  The only thing significant about January was supposed to be our move to our new house.  You all know how that went (and if you don’t, check this and this out).

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Brady John · Life After Loss

Remembering in Special Ways

I remember Brady John every day (and pretty much all day).  We all have ways to carve out time for the ones we love each day, whether those people are with us or not.  I visit Brady’s grave most days.  I look at photos of him (my phone’s lock screen and background are all Brady).  I think about him.  A lot.  These things have become a part of my routine.  Sometimes, it’s really nice to do something special in Brady’s memory, something out of the ordinary.

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