Pregnancy After Loss Miniseries: Goals and Plans

It’s been a little while since I published a post on here, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had plenty of thoughts as we’ve traveled the sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy road of pregnancy after loss.  Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I had a lot to say about this journey – but not really enough on any one subject to create a blog post.  She suggested that I publish a miniseries, so that’s what I’m going to do.  Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting shorter (but more frequent) blog posts on a variety of pregnancy after loss topics.  

A lot of women make really elaborate plans for the birth of their babies.  I’m not judging this.  Had we had an ideal first pregnancy, I probably would have had some pretty solid ideas for how I wanted things to go too.

Prior to Brady being born, I told Jeff that I wouldn’t be making a birth plan.  I knew things weren’t trending in a good direction, and I didn’t want disappointment around what should be one of the happiest experiences of my life.  He was impressed that I’d let that go, knowing that I’m someone who likes to plan out all the details.

Our experience was even more uncontrollable than I anticipated.  Very few things (I’m actually struggling to even come up with one) that happened with Brady were in my control.  Instead, I had to rescind control of the situation to a competent team of Perinatologists, and after he was born, a competent team of Neonatologists, NICU nurses, and RTs.

Because of our experience, I won’t make a plan this time either, but I do have one goal.  Well really, it’s a two-part goal.  This time, all I want is for our baby to survive and for me to survive.  For most, that’s a low bar to set, but this goal was elusive for us last time.