To the person who doesn’t know what happened to my son,
You didn’t just make the worst mistake by asking me how he is or how he’s doing. I know you think you did. This has happened before, many times. This isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last time. And trust me, it is far from the worst thing you could have said. The worst thing you could have said is nothing. Think about it, tons of people know what happened to my son and won’t ask about him. You, on the other hand, care enough to ask about the most important little person in my life. You looked at me and thought, “Ah, it’s been a while, the little man must be here!” I know my answer wasn’t what you were expecting, but I’m not mad you asked.
Your reaction shows a lot about who you are as a person too. You didn’t have time to prepare the “perfect” response, and trust me, there isn’t one of those! I just threw a doozy of information your way, and you had only seconds to respond. People have accidentally said a lot of things that sting, but you didn’t say anything of the sort. You asked my husband’s name so you could pray for us. You told us you were so sorry this happened, that you couldn’t even imagine. You told me it didn’t compare, but you shared about your own tough time and showed your vulnerability.
Oftentimes, we take others’ words at surface value, and in times like this I choose not to. You asked about my son and I had to tell you that he passed away. When I look beyond your words and think about their meaning, you’ve shown you’re a kind and compassionate person by asking about my son. I hope I responded in a way that made you feel that you didn’t make a mistake, and I hope that you don’t feel bad. I don’t want you to shy away from conversations like these, knowing or not, in the future, because the worst thing you could have said is nothing, and you didn’t do that.
Love,
Brady’s Mama
